5 Things NOT to Do to Resolve Your Dog’s Separation Anxiety

 Last month I discussed 5 things you can to do to help resolve your dog’s separation anxiety and/or separation distress. This month, let’s talk about 5 things not to do.

First though, let’s define what we’re talking about here. Dogs with separation anxiety experience distress, fear and/or anxiety when alone which can result in behaviors like excessive vocalizations (barking, howling, whining, crying), destructiveness, house soiling, panting, pacing, excessive drooling or other stress-related behaviors. For dogs suffering from these behavioral problems, alone time can be downright terrifying. For the guardians of these dogs, it can be overwhelming, isolating, frustrating and stressful. Separation anxiety can be one of the most challenging behavioral problems for a dog guardian to face and to make things worse, the internet is full of terrible advice on how to resolve the issue. So let’s dive into 5 things not to do if you’re facing this problem and you want to resolve it as quickly and effectively as possible.

1.) Don’t Waste Time and Money on Ineffective Remedies

There are countless treats, toys, chews and other gadgets on the market that promise to ease your dog’s anxiety and calm their stress. Unfortunately though, very few of these products have any real research to actually back up these bold claims. As appealing as these products are, and some sound really good, don’t forget that there’s an entire marketing team behind the scenes of these companies whose job it is to make their products as enticing as possible to get the most sales possible. Of course they’re going to sound like the perfect solution! That’s what marketing is all about.

Now, I’m not saying that none of the products out there work. Some are legit. Just beware of great marketing tactics and check to make sure a company has done their research before buying their product. I would hate for you to jump from product to product in the hopes that the next one is your saving grace, only to waste your money and be left disappointed and defeated. The hard truth is that for many dogs, there’s simply no OTC product out there that’s enough to help them overcome separation anxiety without appropriate behavior modification and sometimes pharmaceutical support.

2.) Don’t Use a Bark Collar

I get it. Especially if you live in an apartment, I get it. You need the barking to stop (like, yesterday). You’re worried about noise complaints and possible eviction. You just need something that’ll work and even though I don’t like them, I can’t pretend that bark collars don’t stop the barking behavior (sometimes). The problem though, is how they work. These collars utilize aversive punishment methods. Yes, even if you only use the beep or vibrate setting. Let me explain…

If you use a bark collar to stop your dog from barking, you are doing so through a behavior modification technique known as operant conditioning. This technique utilizes either punishment or reinforcement to change behavior and bark collars fall in the punishment camp, like I mentioned above. The purpose of punishment is to decrease the frequency of a behavior, in this case barking. Which sounds fine until you learn how punishment decreases behavior. See, in order for punishment to be effective, the punishment must be aversive to the animal. Otherwise, it simply won’t work. So, this means that the punishment must be painful, scary, or unpleasant enough that the animal is motivated to do what’s in their power (behavior) to avoid experiencing it.

This is the science behind how punishment works (you can research operant conditioning to learn more), based on years of research. So, the bottom line is either the collar you bought isn’t going to stop your dog from barking (because it isn’t punishing to your dog), in which case you just wasted your money, or it is going to stop your dog from barking because they find it aversive (painful, scary or otherwise unpleasant).

If your dog is suffering from separation anxiety or distress, their behavior is rooted in fear. Can you imagine being so terrified of being alone that you’re vocalizing in distress and then getting punished on top of it?

3.) Don’t Ignore the Problem

Don’t wait for your dog to outgrow this problem. If your dog’s suffering from separation anxiety, it’s not likely to resolve without proper intervention, and the earlier you can intervene, the better the chances are of a successful outcome, and the easier the journey will be to get there.

Gradually acclimating your dog to alone time, known as systematic desensitization, remains the gold standard method for resolving separation anxiety. This means starting with a very short departure (for most dogs this is just a few seconds or less), and then gradually increasing the time you leave your dog alone for, as they become more comfortable. This process, though very effective, can be tricky to implement correctly, so if you’re having trouble, don’t hesitate to reach out to a qualified professional for help.

4.) Don’t Leave Your Dog Alone Before They’re Ready

You’ll want to avoid leaving your dog alone if they’re exhibiting signs of separation anxiety, because every time your dog experiences fear or anxiety while alone, those feelings are likely to worsen, creating a much bigger problem to resolve.

Imagine for a moment that I was helping you overcome your fear of heights to achieve your goal of being able to ride a roller coaster with your 9-year-old daughter. Currently, just stepping onto a 3 ft ladder makes your heart race. Let’s say we’ve been working together for a few weeks, and you’ve just successfully reached the top of a 12-foot ladder with no fear or anxiety whatsoever. Horray! You’re really starting to feel comfortable and you’re starting to actually look forward to that roller coaster ride and the memories you’ll get to make with your child soon. But let’s say the next day, you come to me after finally mustering up the courage to overcome your fear of ladders and I tell you that for today’s lesson, we’re going to go to the top of a 5 story building, climb out of a window, walk to the edge of the roof and I’m going to push you off. Don’t worry, you’ll be wearing a harness and you’ll be perfectly safe.

Regardless of what safety measures are in place and regardless of whether your fear is warranted or not, pushing you off that roof before you’re ready is NOT likely to help you overcome your fear of heights. On the contrary, it’s likely to exacerbate your fear and cause you to regress on any progress you’ve made due to the frightening and potentially traumatic experience you went through. Unfortunately, this is exactly what happens when you leave your dog alone before they’re ready. At best, it’s likely to stall progress, at worst, it’s likely to cause a regression. Avoiding leaving your dog alone, though not always easy, is an important part to successful resolution.

 5.) Don’t Blame Yourself

Just don’t do this. Period. It’s NOT your fault. No matter how much you think you may have spoiled your dog. No matter how many times Uncle Larry tells you that the problem’s that you’re not dominant enough or it’s because you let your dog sleep in your bed with you. These claims are rubbish with zero research to back them up. Behavioral issues are caused by a combination of environment, learning history and genetics. There are way too many possible variables that contribute to the development of separation anxiety to place the blame on yourself, so please just don’t do it.

Lastly, don’t wait too long to get the help you deserve. With the right training and support, you and your dog can overcome this debilitating issue and move on with a happier life together. Separation anxiety isn’t always easy to resolve, but it absolutely is possible. If you’re struggling, reach out. You don’t have to do it alone!

With wags and aloha,

Cori